For Now
by KatieIsLost
Summary: Kates journey to Jack. Starts with Kate and Sawyer, moves to Kate and Jack. Please review me!
1. Chapter 1 through 11

Chapter 1

Kate rolled over slowly and opened her eyes. Sawyer. She had been waking up next to him like this for six weeks now and she had discovered that he always slept at least an hour longer than her. During the first couple weeks, she had simply enjoyed the time next to him, dozing slightly and feeling the warmth of the morning sun and his body so close to hers. Then inevitably he would wake up, smile and say "Mornin Freckles," and just kill her with those dimples of his. Occasionally he would vary the nickname, but the rest of the routine had been pretty consistent.

This morning though, and for most mornings before, Kate had rolled back over and abruptly got up. She wasn't quite sure what she and Sawyer thought they were doing. She hesitated to call it a relationship and she was sure Sawyer would balk at the term. What then? It seemed like more than just sleeping together, but in truth not much else had changed. They still argued like cats and dogs, but the sex was…incredible. Especially the angry sex, it was even better then the make up sex. She had always assumed that Sawyer would be great in bed, but it turned out she had underestimated him. At least in that respect. Whatever it was she and Sawyer were doing, she was sure it was a dangerous game.

As she headed toward the shore, Kate thought about how she, Jack, and Sayid had stumbled upon the "Rafties." After returning to the caves to tell the others about the Hatch, they had learned form Charlie and Sayid that The Others weren't quite the threat that Danielle had made them out to be. In fact, they were actually gone. The threat they had imposed was no longer eminent, although none of them believed it was gone entirely.

It had been Locke's idea to search the island for The Others in order to reconnoiter. "Gain the upper hand next time they decide to send up smoke signals" he had said. Jack had suspected that this had more to do with Locke trying to find his "destiny" with the island's resident smoky force than anything else. He had convinced Kate and Sayid to come along so they could keep an eye on Locke.

They had started with the location where the pillar of smoke had originated. Sayid had been there a few days before, so it wasn't hard to find. From there they had headed Southwest, away from the caves and the camp at the beach. For the first day and a half, they hadn't seen or heard much. But then Sayid had begun to hear voices. Kate could tell by his face that he thought it was the same voices he had heard in the jungle weeks before. After a few moments though, they had all heard them. They crept quietly, stealthily toward the voices, not wanting to give away their position. Locke began using hand signals, telling them when to stop and when to go and in what direction. Jack threw Kate a look of utter annoyance and shock his head. She just smiled at him and pointed at Locke with 2 fingers, like she had seen soldiers do in those war movies her dad had liked so much.

Suddenly, Kate had heard a familiar southern drawl say "Where's that damn doctor when you need him? Where'd they train you Nurse Betty, the Ratchett School of Medical Torture?" Kate took off running through the trees. She barely heard Jack call out after her. She burst out onto the beach and headed straight for Sawyer who was having a bandage on his shoulder changed by a woman with long black hair. She threw her arms straight around him and they both toppled onto the sand. "Missed me, didja Freckles?" he had said before wincing and bringing his hand to his shoulder.

"Oh God" she said, helping him up, "What happened?" By this time, Jack, Locke, and Sayid had found their way to Kate and Sawyer and Sawyer had done his best to make introductions. It turned out that the woman bandaging Sawyer had been on their plane, the tail section that Kate had seen break off during their rapid descent. Her name was Ana Lucia and she seemed to be the leader of a much smaller group of survivors. Looking around the camp Kate guessed that there were probably 15 or 16 of them.  
Strangely, Jack and Ana Lucia seemed to have met before. "Jack," she had said, moving in close to him and touching his arm, "You made it."

It appeared as though she wasn't as surprised to see him as he was to see her. He had looked down at the sand and mumbled "Yeah" before looking up at her smiling, "You too." There seemed to be an odd sort of energy between them and Kate wasn't sure how she felt about it.

"Oh yeah" Sawyer had said, breaking the silence, "Turns out Doc here and the Senorita joined themselves the mile high club on our little plane ride to Mystery Island."

In retrospect Kate could see how like Sawyer it was to make such a statement in front of a group of people like that. The man lived for confrontation. But at the time, she had only been in complete shock. Jack hadn't known what to say either, he had just looked at Sawyer like he was about to kill him. "What? I heard it straight from the horse's mouth." Sawyer finished his statement with a pointed look at Ana Lucia, who in her defense looked completely mortified. 

Luckily, Sayid had rescued them all "While this is all very interesting Sawyer, why don't you tell us about what happened on the raft and how you ended up here with these survivors." Sawyer had complied by giving them a complete rundown of the events leading up to The Others taking Walt. Kate scanned the camp again and saw Michael sitting dejectedly on a piece of wreckage, staring out to sea. Jin, however, was nowhere to be seen. After telling them how he had been shot by what he called a "Hillbilly twin" he told them how Jin and Michael had hauled him onto the remains of the raft and kicked him toward shore. The current had carried them towards this part of the island and the other survivors had discovered them a mile down the beach within the day. Locke had smiled to himself then as though he knew this is what The Island had intended.

Sayid broke the silence again by asking "Where is Jin?"

"Fishing of course, once an Oriental finds a job they're good at, boy do they stick with it."

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That night they stayed at Ana Lucia's camp. Jack had easily convinced the struggling survivors to join the rest of them at the caves with the promise of an abundance of fresh water and food. They would start the two day journey in a few days time.

It was a little past midnight when Kate, who hadn't yet fallen asleep, got up to find Sawyer. She found him sleeping on his back a little close to the fire. As she woke him up, she took his hand and easily led him a short way into the Jungle. For the first time since they had met, Sawyer didn't say a word. She began to take of her cloths and he did the same. And as he started to kiss her, she tried to push the thoughts out of her head. What the hell was she doing? She had been thrilled to see Sawyer, but part of her was sure that this was more directly related to Sawyer's revelation about Jack and Ana Lucia. Why though? She had no claim on him. Hell, it had happened before they had even met! She pushed Sawyer onto the ground and straddled him. She tried to be careful of his shoulder, but at this point, she couldn't bring herself to care that much. As he leaned up to kiss her, she pushed his chest back onto the ground and slowly started moving her hips. Still, she couldn't stop thinking about Jack. They had flirted, that was about it. But she knew he cared about her. Why was she so angry! She came before Sawyer, and after he finished she had quickly pulled back on her cloths and walked away, leaving him there in the jungle.

Chapter 2

Kate found herself walking further along the shoreline, she was so far she almost couldn't see the camp. She would have to turn around and head back before Sawyer got worried and came looking for her. That was the last thing she wanted right now. She turned around and her head continued to race with thoughts of Sawyer and Jack. She thought again of how that first night had been and she felt only shame.

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Kate had tried her best to avoid Sawyer the next day, but given how much smaller this new camp was it had proved difficult. Every time she looked at him she was wracked with guilt. Never in her life had she used someone so dismissively. Well, no one she cared about as much as Sawyer anyway. And she did care about him. A lot. Definitely more than he knew. To his credit, Sawyer had said nothing about their midnight jaunt into the jungle. The dark, hurt look he had thrown her way that morning was the only evidence he had given that anything had happened at all. He had held her gaze and then quietly turned away and made himself busy with a book. It occurred to her that there must have been new books with the luggage that had wound up at this camp. She glanced quickly at the cover: "The Time Traveler's Wife." Nothing she had ever read.

After they had all trekked back to the caves, Kate had decided to return to the camp on the beach. Jack had fought against that of course, but she stood her ground. She didn't want to be anywhere near Jack and Ana. As far as she could tell, nothing had happened between them – yet. But she didn't trust herself to stay.

This was just what she did. It was how she handled things. If she didn't like something she would do everything in her power to distance herself from it. That way she didn't have to deal with it. That was why Sawyer's decision to return to the beach had surprised her. She had assumed, wrongfully it turned out, he would do the same. But then she reminded herself that this was the same Sawyer who thrived on confrontation. The Same Sawyer who was so involved with his personal journey of self hatred that he had assumed both the name and lifestyle of the man who had ruined his life. Say what you would about Sawyer, but he dived right into his problems.

In the end, most of the people who had resided at the beach had returned. Though even to Kate it had seemed a band aid for a gushing wound. One day, and soon, they would have to accept that no one was coming for them. But this delusion would have to do for now.

Michael had moved back to the beach as well. He spent most of his time combing the shore and staring out to sea. They all knew he was looking for signs of Walt, but none of them had much hope that anything would turn up. Morale was at a new low, but everyone had tried their best to give Michael what he needed. Unfortunately, no one knew quite what that was. So they wound up giving him lots of sympathetic looks and supportive hands on his shoulder. Gradually he had just pulled himself away from the rest of them. He would only talk to Jin. Probably because with Jin he didn't have to talk much at all.

After they had been back on the beach for a few days, Sawyer had come looking for her. "We gonna talk about this Kate?" He asked. She looked up from where she was kneeling, trying to brush the sand from her makeshift bed. She thought it may have been the first time he had actually used her name.

He had looked so hurt and vulnerable, and it just crushed her that she had caused that. It never ceased to amaze her that she (or anyone really) could read anything he was thinking on his face. He was guarded, but in a completely different way than her. He couldn't just shut down the way Kate did.

She stood up slowly and looked him straight in the eye. "I'm sorry" she said. The tears forming in her eyes surprised her and she looked down. _Ah well_, she thought to herself, _I may as well sell it_. She moved toward him and kissed him slowly. He responded like she knew he would. Sawyer hadn't asked if the kiss was designed to assuage her guilt, but she knew he must be wondering. But they hadn't talked about it since, and neither was likely to bring it up soon. Their fragile coming together had turned into a tenuous relationship. And it hadn't taken much for Kate to convince herself that this was what she wanted. After all, he had always had a sort of pull on her. And there was no denying the sexual energy between them. Ever since that day, she had been waking up next to him, sometimes in her tent, sometimes in Jack's old medical tent. Neither one of them had been willing to give up their space. But neither one had spent a night alone in nearly six weeks.

The sound of Aaron crying for his morning feeding startled her from her reverie. Apparently she had made it back to camp. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing at the shore doing nothing. Well, not nothing. She was sinking again. The memory of Jack finding her like this made her breath catch in her throat. She shook her head and refused to give in to the sobs that were so close to the surface.

She needed to do something. Anything. There was a pile of clothes in her tent that needed to be washed. Or she could go gather whatever fruit was nearby, although she knew there wasn't much left so close to the camp. Or she could go to the caves and bring back water. She was sure they needed fish and their water supply was getting dangerously low. She knew she wouldn't end up doing that though, too much danger of running into Jack or Ana, or worse, both of them together.

With a sigh she headed back to her tent where she was sure Sawyer was waiting for her.

That night they stayed at Ana Lucia's camp. Jack had easily convinced the struggling survivors to join the rest of them at the caves with the promise of an abundance of fresh water and food. They would start the two day journey in a few days time.

It was a little past midnight when Kate, who hadn't yet fallen asleep, got up to find Sawyer. She found him sleeping on his back a little close to the fire. As she woke him up, she took his hand and easily led him a short way into the Jungle. For the first time since they had met, Sawyer didn't say a word. She began to take of her cloths and he did the same. And as he started to kiss her, she tried to push the thoughts out of her head. What the hell was she doing? She had been thrilled to see Sawyer, but part of her was sure that this was more directly related to Sawyer's revelation about Jack and Ana Lucia. Why though? She had no claim on him. Hell, it had happened before they had even met! She pushed Sawyer onto the ground and straddled him. She tried to be careful of his shoulder, but at this point, she couldn't bring herself to care that much. As he leaned up to kiss her, she pushed his chest back onto the ground and slowly started moving her hips. Still, she couldn't stop thinking about Jack. They had flirted, that was about it. But she knew he cared about her. Why was she so angry! She came before Sawyer, and after he finished she had quickly pulled back on her cloths and walked away, leaving him there in the jungle.

Chapter 3

Kate didn't make it very far before she heard someone come up behind her. Instinctively she knew it was Sawyer.

"I do something to offend you, Princess?" he asked her aggressively. She had no idea what he was talking about but she braced herself for the inevitable argument anyway. But as she turned to confront him, all she could do was laugh. There Sawyer stood like a petulant child, His long hair sticking out in odd directions, pillow marks all over his right cheek. He was wearing nothing but Boxers and a shirt that read "Where's the beef?" But the thing that really sent her over the edge was the socks. Who walks on the beach in socks?

As she laughed at him he only seemed to get angrier. Which in turn only made her laugh harder.

"Maybe you didn't hear me." he spat out above her laughter. "I asked if I had somehow offended your delicate sensibilities."

"Only if your talking about the way you butcher those Johnny Cash songs" she said through her giggles.

"What?" He asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry. You have a lovely voice, really you do." Kate mocked.

"That is not what I'm talking about, and you know it.

"Okay" she said, trying to calm down. She put her hands on his shoulders. "What are you talking about?"

"Just seems to me you're trying to avoid me. Have been for weeks. If you wanna quit this, its fine by me. Ya know, maybe I'm not the one you wanna be spending your time with. I hear the doc is free. You two could have some pretty great pout fests since that seems to be your favorite thing to do."

She looked him square in the eyes. "I'm with you aren't I?" And then to appease him she added "I'll quit being so pouty, I promise."

"All right…I guess. Im just not here to be your guy Friday you know. And I don't like being where I'm not wanted. I ain't nobody's freakin charity case."

"I know" she said solemnly. And then looking him up and down she asked "Didn't they stop making those shirts in 1987?

"It's not mine!" He answered defensively. "In case you hadn't noticed, there isn't exactly an abundance of clean clothes. Maybe instead of being so mopey you could make yourself useful."

"Me? Really?" she said. "Sawyer, you know those books are the only ones we got, you might wanna pace yourself. Maybe instead of spending hours reading you could, I don't know, help!"

"You're the girl." He said, baiting her. "Hell, you're already barefoot."

"Oh, don't even get me started on the feet thing." She shot back. "You want clean socks to wear on the beach, you wash em."

"I was in a hurry! I wear them to sleep! Unlike some people I'm just too damn polite to warm them on the person sleeping next to me."

"Oh yeah," she laughed turning away from him, "You're such a man, Sawyer."

"That's it!" He said and took off after her, chasing her into the surf. It didn't take long for him to catch her, probably because she let him. If there was one thing Kate knew how to do, it was run.

He scooped her up easily and threw her over his shoulder. "Put me down!" She shrieked kicking her legs.

"Fine." He said and unceremoniously dropped her into the water on her ass. She gasped and hooked her arm around his knee and pulled. He landed flat on his back in the water with a loud smack. "Damn," he said, "that was just plain mean."

She just smiled and said "Don't pretend you didn't deserve that."

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A couple minutes later as Kate was walking back to her tent she stopped dead in her tracks. She saw Jack and Ana Lucia emerging from the trees onto the beach. Jack was holding on to the straps of his backpack and smiling at the ground. Ana, just behind him, was laughing at something. They hadn't seen her yet. Kate frowned, remembering a time when that smile had been reserved for her. Finally looking up, Jack locked eyes with her. He seemed surprised that she was there and she even thought she saw a trace of guilt in his eyes.

"Kate, you're all wet." seemed to be the only thing he could manage to get out.

Sawyer, who had been just a few paces behind Kate, cocked his head to the side to shake some water out of his ears. "Thanks for the update Captain Obvious."

Chapter 4

Before Jack could respond to Sawyer's insult Ana Lucia stated "We come bearing water."

"Yeah," Jack added, "And I want to take a look at that shoulder of yours, and check on Michael too, is he around?"

"My shoulder?" Sawyer asked, "It's been nearly two months, what could have changed?"

"So you're a lumberjack with a medical degree now Sawyer?" Jack retorted. "I just want to see how your range of motion is coming along. Think of it as yet another excuse to take off your shirt."

"Fine, but do Michael first. And I ain't no lumberjack!"

"Michael's just over there." Kate said pointing to the spot Michael had been occupying lately.

Kate moved to follow Jack but he held out his arm and stopped her. "Kate, this isn't nearly enough water, I was thinking you could head back to the caves with Ana, maybe load up your pack with some more bottles. The two of you can take some fish with you."

"But Jack" she started to say, but he interrupted her.

"Also, Sun came by this morning, she needs help with the garden, something about protecting the plants from rain damage. You can walk back with her when you guys are finished"

It seemed like a reasonable request, but it still pissed her off. She hated it when he told her what to do. And this was just how she wanted to spend her morning, trekking through the jungle with Jack's one night stand. Well, she was probably more than that now, especially considering that smile he'd given her. She'd do it, but she didn't have to like it. "Alright, sure" she told him coldly and started to help Ana with the water bottles.

She wasn't quite sure how to say goodbye to Sawyer in front of Jack and Ana. They weren't really the kiss at the door before heading to the office type of couple. She wasn't even sure if Jack knew that they were sleeping together, but she figured he'd probably heard. Island gossip traveled fast. What else did people have to talk about? She settled for a small wave and "See you later?"

"You know it." Sawyer replied with a grin. Then he and Jack walked toward Michael.

Kate changed into some dry cloths while Ana finished loading the fish and they were ready to go in under ten minutes. As she and Ana headed into the jungle, they both tried to make pleasant small talk. As neither one of them was much for banal chit chat, it didn't go very well. Strangely Kate found herself thinking that in any other circumstances; the two of them probably would have made pretty good friends. Kate hadn't had many female friends growing up. She was always a bit of a tomboy. And when she had grown up, she didn't stay anywhere long enough to make any friends at all. The only real lasting female relationship she had had was with her younger sister Elise. She loved Elise, depended on her and tried to protect her, but they had been very different people. Kate figured that Ana Lucia was probably a lot like her. As it turned out, she thought to herself, Jack had a type. Apparently he liked tough, independent brunettes.

Finally, when it seemed like Kate couldn't take anymore of the idle gossip that neither one of them knew very much of, Anna had come right out and asked "So you and Sawyer are sleeping together?"

Kate remembered Sawyer telling her how blunt she was. "Um, yeah." She answered.

"Interesting." Ana said, "And how's that working out for you?"

"What do you mean?" asked Kate. She tried to estimate how far away the caves were. The conversation was tiring and it seemed like it would only get worse.

"You two just seem a little similar is all. Two stubborn criminals. Must make for interesting arguments."

Kate began to get seriously irritated at this point. Who was this woman behaving as though she knew her? Knew her past, knew how she and Sawyer got along. They had barely said ten sentences to each other. And how did she know Sawyer was a criminal as well. She knew everyone had found out about her, but Sawyer had kept his past pretty close to the chest. She had thought she was the only one who really knew what he had done before coming to the Island.

"We get along alright." She said tight lipped and started to walk a little faster.

"What did you do anyway? Nobody seems to know"

Had this woman been doing fucking research?

"I just thought maybe no one had asked you yet." Ana continued "We don't have to talk about it. Thought maybe you'd like the opportunity."

"Well I don't." And then rapidly changing the subject. "How about you and Jack? What about that? And why on earth would you tell Sawyer about…." how should she word this? "About what happened on the plane."

"When we were at my camp he asked if I knew anyone else on the plane. Jack was the only one I knew, so I told him. It never occurred to me that he had survived. When Sawyer told me he was alive, I was…I didn't know what to say. " She trailed off.

"And now?" Kate asked.

"And now nothing. Not that I'd be opposed to it. He's tall, dark, and slightly damaged. Just the way I like em." She laughed. "But what we had? That was a one time thing. I was just someone he needed on that particular day at that particular time. And he was the same for me. And now we have to see each other everyday, so its good that we can be adults about it. Besides, as much as we get along, we both know that I'm not the one he wants." She finished, looking at Kate with a small smile.

Kate hadn't realized it, but at sometime during the past few minutes she had stopped walking. She tried to make herself busy, taking off her backpack and shifting the weight a little. She wanted to appear as though what Ana had said hadn't affected her, but it was impossible.

Changing the subject again Ana had said "So Charlie and Claire eh? Innocent Australian and Hard Core Rocker, now that's an interesting match."

The rest of the walk was much more pleasant than the first half. Kate even seemed to enjoy Ana's company.

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Kate spent most of the day near the caves. First she and Sun had erected a few tarps over their garden. The recent heavy rains had done some damage, but most of the tiny trees were salvageable. Sun had returned to the beach soon after they had finished. She had mentioned something about Jin and helping him with something or other. Kate was sure she had just wanted to get back to him as soon as possible. Since his return they had been virtually inseparable. She had even moved back to the beach with him. It was sweet really, a sort of love story where they had both redeemed themselves.

Kate wasn't sure why she hadn't headed back to the beach with Sun. She just wasn't ready to leave yet. She had helped Ana with some menial tasks, and later she had gone on a short hike for some fruit. She had been surprised by how few people she knew at the caves now. She barely recognized half the people, and if pressed, she wasn't sure she could name any of the survivors who had come with Ana.

When she couldn't find anymore excuses to stay at the caves, Kate had reluctantly filled the remainder of the water bottles and headed back. She had about an hour before dark and she wanted to make sure she was at the beach before nightfall. It started to rain, and she was thankful she had grabbed a tarp before she left. With it wrapped around her head and over her shoulders, she walked down the now well worn path.

She had been walking for about 15 minutes when she heard small noises in the distance. Her panic rising, she crept off the path and crouched close to a tree. She was relatively sure it wasn't the "Security System" – whatever it was it was moving way too quietly and slowly for that. Most likely it was just some people heading to the caves, but it was dark in the jungle, and she was alone, better safe than sorry.

The noises, now identifiable as footsteps got closer and closer. As the figure walked past her rather conspicuous hiding place, she saw that it was Jack. His jeans and T-shirt were soaked by the rain, but he didn't seem to mind. He hadn't seen her, how he had missed her, she didn't know. She stood up and called out to him, "Jack!"

"Kate!" he said smiling, He seemed happy to see her, which made her smile as well. "What are you doing back there?"

"Oh," she paused, "I was just, you know, using the facilities." For some reason it was important to her that he not know she had been hiding. Why she had chosen to go with the bathroom excuse was a little beyond her though. The lie had just come to her so easily.

"Sorry to interrupt." He said laughing a little. "What are you doing out here by yourself?"

Kate told him "I could ask you the same question. How was Michael?" She held the tarp out a little so he could duck under it.

"About as well as can be expected I suppose, I brought him some antidepressants, but he wouldn't take them. I guess you can't really medicate losing a child." He yelled over the rain that was getting progressively harder. "Lets wait this out."

They headed toward one of the biggest trees either of them had ever seen. There was a slight hollow in the trunk between two roots that looked large enough to seat two people comfortably. The leaned their backs against it and held the tarp over their heads.

"Kate, you know Arzt's timing may have been off, but he was right about it being Monsoon Season. The rains get worse everyday. The caves are so much safer than the beach, and there's plenty of room." As an afterthought he added. "You can always go back when the weather changes."

"I know," she said, "I've been thinking the same thing" In the dimming light she could see only see his profile. His strong nose and slightly pointed chin. Before she knew what she was doing, she reached up and grazed his cheek with the back of her hand. "You need a shave."

"Sorry Kate," he said. She could hear the smile in his voice. "I had an early morning." It occurred to her that while Sawyer rarely used her name, Jack seemed to use it as much as he possibly could. "I don't think this rain is gonna get any better," he continued. "Were closer to the caves, we should probably just head there for the night. I don't want you trying to walk back to the beach in this."

"Lets just stay here for a little while longer" she said softly, shifting a little so she was leaning slightly against him. "It might let up in a few minutes."

"Alright" Jack leaned back and closed his eyes. Neither of them really wanted to get up anyway.

Chapter 5

When Kate came too, she guessed it must have been at least 1am. She lifted her cheek off Jack's shoulder and tried to make out the face of her watch, but it was just too dark. She didn't know whose watch it had been originally, but apparently they hadn't believed in Indiglo. At least it had stopped raining.

"Jack," she whispered, shaking his shoulder. "Jack, wake up. We fell asleep"

"Mmmm" was the only reply she got as he turned his face slightly away from her.

"Jack," she said louder, as she took her head out from under the tarp and painfully stood up. "Get up! You're gonna hurt tomorrow if you don't." She pulled the rest of the tarp out from behind him."

That did it. "I think it's too late for that" he grumbled, stretching his arms over his head. "Whose bright idea was it to sleep on a tree?"

Apparently, Jack didn't react well to being woken up. "Come on Grumpy, help me spread out the tarp." They laid the tarp wet side down on a semi dry patch of undergrowth a few feet away from the massive tree.

Their clothes were still damp from the rain and the breeze had picked up. When Jack saw Kate shiver slightly, he headed over to his backpack and produced a dark blue plane blanket.

"Here you go." He said as he tossed it to her.

"You've been holding out on me Jack" she said.

"Sorry, I wasn't planning on sleeping in the jungle, so I forgot about it."

She curled under the scratchy but warm blanket leaving enough room for him to share it with her, but when he got down on the tarp, he laid down as far away from her as possible.

"Jack, would you stop being so chivalrous and get over here? I really don't want to be responsible for the only doctor on the Island dying of hypothermia."

"Its not that cold, Kate"

"Jack." She said plainly, "just get over here." And he obeyed.

"Whats Sawyer gonna say?" He asked as he shifted his weight under the blanket.

But she pretended she didn't hear him. They were facing each other, but neither one could see much of anything. "There's no moon tonight" he murmured. She could tell he was drifting off.

She didn't think she had ever been this close to him, at least not for this extended amount of time. All she could hear was his shallow breathing and the distant noises of the jungle at night. All she could smell was his combination of sea salt, sweat, and soap. And something she couldn't identify, something earthy and warm. She hated to think what she must smell like. She rolled over on her back and lifted her arm - the one furthest away from Jack – over her head. Above her, between the canopy of leaves and the rapidly dissipating clouds, she could see countless stars.

"Goodnight Jack" she said, but he was already asleep.

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When Kate woke up the next morning, she was lying on her side, and her right hand was clutching the sleeve of Jack's t-shirt. It was as if she had thought he was going to try to get away from her as she slept. She let go quickly, thankful she had been first up. Jack was lying on his back, mouth open, dead to the world, with the majority of the small blanket up around his chest. Kate couldn't understand how he could sleep through all the noise of the increasingly louder jungle. The birds alone seemed enough to wake the dead. She glanced down at her watch, 6:18. It was early, but she was sure she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep.

She crawled over to her bag and pulled out some passion fruit. With as much fruit as they had been forced to eat on the island, Kate was amazed that she hadn't tired of the tart little seeds surrounded by slimy sweetness the consistency of egg yolk. She loved them though, second only to guava.

She ate with her back turned to Jack, waiting for him to wake up. She didn't want to rouse him, but she knew they would have to leave soon. She didn't want anybody who happened by them on the path to get the wrong idea.

After a few minutes though, she decided she'd have to get him up. She turned around and found that he was already awake, staring at her.

"Got any more of that?" He asked.

"Sure" she said, rooting around in her backpack. Finding the last one, she tossed it his way. "Sleep okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered "I woke up a few times, but other than that I was fine. You know Kate, if you want the shirt, all you have to do is ask."

She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks, and she looked down. "Yeah, sorry about that" she said "We should probably get going soon, you ready?"

They folded up the tarp and the blanket, made sure everything was packed up and prepared to walk off in opposite directions. Jack stood facing Kate, his hands holding the straps of his backpack. Her arms were crossed over her chest. "Don't be a stranger" he said to her as he turned to go.

"See you later" she said, but she wasn't sure she believed it. It seemed like they ran into each other less and less, especially since she had been with Sawyer. They had been avoiding each other. Last night had seemed like stolen time, and she wasn't sure she was ready to let it end. She didn't really know when they would have another opportunity to see each other like this.

As she watched him leave and thought that she could count the moments they had shared on the fingers of one hand. There was the time he had given her the seeds, the time he had told he had taken care of Sawyers headaches for her, and a few more. It wasn't enough, she needed more.

"Jack, wait" she called out and jogged toward him. She put his hands around his middle and hugged him goodbye. It was a good solid hug, and neither pulled away. She leaned her head back and looked at his face. He brought his hands up to her hair and smoothed it back. And then she reached up and kissed him. He had stiffened, surprised by her boldness. But then he gave in and she felt all his intensity pour into her. He tasted like passion fruit.

And then reality hit and he pulled away. He brought his hand to his mouth and backed away from her. "We can't" he said.

She turned away, "I know"

"Sawyer's a good man you know."

"I know" she repeated. Then thinking about it, she said coolly, "Is that what this is about? Since when do you give a shit about Sawyer?"

He looked at her, he seemed shocked by how quickly she could turn mean. "I just know he's a good guy, that's all. You chose him Kate, you know too."

There was a long silence. Kate didn't tell him she had chosen Sawyer because of her jealousy, and Jack didn't tell her what Sawyer had told him about his father that day the rat had left. Nothing either of them could say could change the way things stood, and they both knew it. She wanted to yell at him that he didn't always have to do the goddamn right thing, but she didn't.

"Fine, see you around" was all she could manage to say. And then she had walked away. When she turned around to see if he was still there, she saw his back heading towards the caves.

Chapter 6

It had been discussed, it had been decided, and the plans were in motion. They were moving to the caves. Later that afternoon, Sayid was going to lead them all on a hike, just like he had on the day that Danielle had come. To Kate it seemed utterly ridiculous, they all knew how to get to the caves, everyone had been there countless times. Couldn't they be trusted to find their own way in their own time? She was sure the group move had been Jack's idea. It gave Kate less room to maneuver, less opportunity to procrastinate the move if they all went together.

Kate hadn't seen Jack in nearly a week, not since she had met him in the middle of the path that night. She hadn't been to the caves since, and to her knowledge, he hadn't come back to the beach. It had given Kate plenty of time to think, and for the most part she had simply been amazed at her ability to ruin any good thing. Today though, she was not going to dwell. It had happened, she couldn't change it. If she and Jack were never able to mend the rift, well she'd just have to live with it. In the meantime, there was stuff to do.

She walked purposefully toward Jack's makeshift infirmary, the one that Sawyer now slept in, and began to disassemble it. She threw Sawyer's numerous belongings in a pile about five feet away. He could pack up his own crap. She folded the tarps that had served as the tent's three walls. Then she dragged the chairs and cushions to a second pile near Sawyer's stuff. Next came the hard part. Much of the frame was constructed of wreckage, and she slowly, meticulously started to create a third pile with the heavy pieces of metal. The morning was hot and beads of sweat formed at her temples, soon she was covered in it. But it felt good, the physical labor had stopped her brain from focusing on anything but the next task.

As she struggled with a particularly heavy piece she saw Jack talking to Sawyer. He had finally come to the beach. Sawyer was scanning the beach, looking for her. Both he and Jack seemed puzzled by what she was doing, but Sawyer had the good sense to stay away. As Jack headed over to her, Sawyer's voice carried on the wind. "Might wanna stay away from her doc, shes been in a mood. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was that time of the month."

"Yes Sawyer, I'm aware that you're sleeping with her, there's no need to keep hinting at it whenever I'm around."

Jack approached her cautiously, like she was a trapped animal he didn't want to frighten. She was sure this must look crazy to him, and she wasn't sure how she'd answer his inevitable question. Even she didn't know why she had to take down the structure. She was sure he had some clinical answer about how it represented her feelings for both Sawyer and Jack because it had been so closely linked to the both of him, but she wasn't buying that psycho analysis bull shit. To her surprise, he asked a completely different question "you look like you need a break, can we take a walk?"

Her mouth a determined line, she looked up at him from where she was straining to pull a heavy metal pole to her pile of wreckage. Standing up, she brushed wet strands of hair from her forehead "Can't" she said nodding her head toward the clouds that were gathering on the horizon, "Its gonna rain soon."

"At least let me help" he said lifting up the other side of the pole.

"I got it, Jack" she said, but he didn't listen to her.

"Why are you doing this, were not going to be able to get this all to the caves" – and there it was, the question she couldn't answer.

"We don't know what were going to need later" She answered, surprised at her own logic. "We should at least protect it from rain damage."

"Kate, it's the wreckage from a plane, how much more could it possibly be damaged?"

"What do you want Jack?"

"I just want to talk to you, we have to clear the air. If we keep avoiding each other like this, those caves are gonna start to seem awfully small."

She knew he was right. "Fine, go ahead then." She started struggling with the next bit of metal.

"Not here," he grabbed her hand and led her away from the mess. As soon as she started walking, he let go of her hand. They walked toward the shore, and when they were sufficiently far from the infirmary he ordered her to sit. They were very close to the spot where he had told her that they all deserved a chance to start over. She assumed that was on purpose.

"Do you love him?" he asked. It seemed he wasn't going to beat around the bush. That was fine, she could be blunt too.

"I've only been in love once, Jack, and you didn't know the guy." She could tell the answer had stung him. But it was true. She was well on her way to falling for Jack, but there was still time to pull back if she had to. She could still the beating of her heart and harden her resolve.

Jack nodded slowly and said "The toy airplane." Then he continued "I thought I was in love once, but it turned out I was just really good at convincing myself I was."

"Is there a reason you're dredging up the past?"

He didn't answer her, just trudged right ahead with his story. "So good at it that I spent four years married to a person that I never learned to love."

"Are you saying I'm wasting my time with Sawyer?"

"Not necessarily, I just want to make sure you have all the facts." He paused and took a breath. "I'm not very good at this." She simply stared out to sea, she was not going to make this easy on him.

"I think its pretty obvious that we both feel something for each other. But we just keep circling, and every time we get too close, one of us does something to push the other away. And sometimes I feel like maybe I could stop. I could just shut it off. But every time I'm around you, it just gets stronger. And I think we're approaching the point where we, I mean I, won't be able to turn it off."

With every word he spoke, she felt her resolve weaken. It was eerie how similar their thoughts had been. She turned to look at him, and when their eyes met, she had to look away. She felt too exposed, as though he could see everything she was thinking.

He plowed ahead. It was as though once the floodgates had been opened, he couldn't stop. She could tell that he wasn't used to laying everything on the table like this. "Kate, I just wanted you to know how I felt. I thought maybe with the way we left things that morning, you might have come away with the wrong impression. But that kiss, it was...it was exactly what I wanted." He exhaled deeply again. He paused, as though waiting for her to say something, but she wasn't ready to speak yet.

"Was it Charlie who said that we were positively made of time? I guess what my point is, is that I know for now you're with Sawyer, but if you decide to come looking for me, I'll be around. And take all the time you need, just don't take so long that you break his heart and mine."

They sat their quietly watching the waves for a few minutes, and then he stood up and put his pack over his shoulders. "I had better be getting back. See you later?"

She looked up and nodded, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. "Thank you" she said softly.

He just ruffled her hair like she was a little kid and headed back to the caves. She turned to watch him go and saw Sawyer. He was about twenty feet away, staring at her angrily.

Chapter 7

After dreading the move for so long, Kate was surprised by how welcomed she felt arriving at the caves. It almost felt like she was coming home. Everyone was waiting at the entrance with smiling faces, eager to help, and Kate couldn't help but smile back. She looked for Jack but couldn't find him. Instead, she saw Ana Lucia heading straight for her. As she approached her, she said "Hey!" and took her largest bag and headed into the main cave. Kate had no choice but to follow.

The shear size of the caves never ceased to amaze Kate. The large central cave that Ana lead her in was at least three times bigger than the house she grew up in. Not that that was saying much. Because it was so late in the day, nearly dusk, small fires were lit everywhere in the caves, illuminating even the furthest reaches. The bright glow only served to make Kate feel more at home. But she also felt a pang of bittersweet nostalgia because she knew this safe feeling couldn't last. They were on the Island after all.

Ana helped Kate find a place to settle in. She finally chose an area against the wall close to the exit, near to where Ana was staying. She wasn't sure that was the best idea, she still had reservations about Ana's motives and she wasn't sure she could trust her. At least she could make a quick exit if she needed to though.

From here she could see the entire cave and again she looked around for Jack, but he was nowhere to be found. Neither was Sawyer. He hadn't spoken to her since he had seen Jack talking to her that morning. On the hike over he had stayed in the rear, she in the front with Sayid. She really didn't understand why he was so upset. All he had seen her and Jack had been do was talk. She wondered where he would set up his camp, probably as far away from her as possible.

She continued looking around the caves, everyone was making their new living quarters as comfortable as possible. Shannon and Sayid had chosen a small alcove towards the rear of the caves. It was semi secluded and they were probably hoping for a little privacy. Kate smiled to herself and thought Good luck with that. Shannon was already making eyes at him.

Closer to her and a little to the left were Charlie and Claire. Claire was standing and holding Aaron in her arms and gently rocking back and forth while she directed Charlie, who was crawling around their small space doing her bidding. "See," he looked up at her grinning, "Most men may be bloody useless, but at least I know how to follow orders." Claire giggled sweetly and bent down to kiss his forehead.

It seemed that she was surrounded by sickeningly sweet couples, which only made her wish Jack or Sawyer was around. Even she wasn't sure which one she would have preferred at this point.

She sat on the thin mat she called a bed and absentmindedly started rubbing her neck. All that heavy lifting that morning had made her muscles ache. Maybe she would ask Sun for something to help alleviate it. She looked around for her, and of course she and Jin were at the waterfall looking adorable and completely enamored with each other. Perfect. Before she could stand up to head over to them, she heard a backpack drop behind her and someone kneel behind her. Strong hands began kneading her shoulders. She leaned back into them and closed her eyes, giving into the momentary comfort.

"Jack." She murmured.

She felt the hands abruptly stop, then squeeze hard into her shoulders. "Sorry Sweetheart, looks like you got the wrong guy." Sawyer got up quickly, pushing into her shoulders to help him up. He gathered his bag and walked to the opposite end of the cave.

"Sawyer" she called after him half heartedly. She wasn't surprised when he didn't turn around.

She put her head in her hands and tried to fight off the emotions clawing their way to the surface. It seemed no matter how far she ran or how lost she got, she couldn't escape her own nature. No matter where she went, she was manipulative and mean. She used people, even people she cared about, to get what she wanted. And no matter how much remorse she felt or how much she knew how badly it would all end, she had never learned how to not do it. Even on a fucking island in the middle of the Pacific, she was still the same old Kate.

"Kate?" she heard Sun say.

"I'm fine" Kate answered coolly. Was she really being so short with Sun, the one real friend she had on the Island?

"No, its just…I'm glad your fine, but have you seen Michael? No one seems to know where he is."

Kate stood up and looked around, no Michael. "Was he on the hike?" She asked.

"I know he started with us, but I don't know if he arrived with us." Sun answered, looking somewhat panicked.

"Where's Jack?" Kate asked hurriedly. "I think we need to go look for Michael and Jack should be involved."

"You don't know?" Sun asked, looking at her with a puzzled expression. "I thought you'd know."

Kate and Sun asked everyone they could find. No one had seen either Jack or Michael for at least three hours and no one had seen Michael arrive at the caves. The Panic in the caves seemed to be increasing and something had to be done. They couldn't just wait and hope they'd show up together safe and sound. Kate organized everyone willing and able to look into about 6 groups of 4 or 5 people and prepared to send them off in different directions. Jack probably would have been better at forming a search party, but Kate had to make do.

Kate's group, which included Sun, Sayid, and Hurly exited the caves into the pouring rain and headed south. Sawyer, who had been one of the first volunteers headed East with Ana, Locke and Jin. It was dark and wet, and no one really knew where to look, but they were going to try anyway.

**Chapter 8 **

They hadn't made it very far when Hurley suddenly stopped. "Dude, I have an idea, wait here." He said, and abruptly headed back towards the caves. They watched him lumber rather quickly with confused faces.

Sayid laughed shortly, "He's big, but he's spry."

Kate wished she could join in the laugh but she was far too worried. What could be so important that Hurly was forcing them to stand around waiting like this. Hurley knew that the situation was dire, didn't he? The rain was pouring down in sheets now and the standing still was nearly killing her.

"What is he doing?" Sun asked the question they were all thinking. She seemed just as eager to get going as Kate was.

Thankfully, they didn't have to wait long. After only a few anxious minutes Hurly came bounding back into view, Vincent in tow. A look of slow realization appeared on their faces. "Good idea!" exclaimed Sayid.

Vincent seemed thrilled to be going on what he thought was a walk. He jumped and pulled his leash practically dragging Hurley behind him, which was no small feat for the excited yellow lab.

"Find Michael and Jack, Vincent" Hurley told him. "C'mon boy, you can do it." And bizarrely, the dog seemed to understand. Vincent quickly veered left pulling Hurley with him. The others followed close behind, trying to keep up.

Not long after though, Vincent pulled a little too hard and Hurley lost his grip on the leash. Vincent dashed into the brush barking loudly. Kate and Sayid rushed after him, but to no avail. The barking began to diminish as Sun and Hurley caught up with them.

"Shannon and Walt are gonna kill me" Hurley said. Realizing that he had included Walt, Hurley had looked down and said "Well, if he ever finds out he will."

"Hurley," Sayid tried to reassure him, "Vincent is a smart dog, he knows his way around the Island. He'll find his way home."

Kate and Sayid tried to figure out their next move while Sun and Hurley called for Vincent. Through the dark rain, a shadowy figure moved toward them. At first Kate couldn't tell who it was, but as soon he spoke, relief flooded through her.

"Lose something?" Jack asked, his wet face smiling. In one hand, he held Vincent's leash, in the other a 9 Iron.

"Jack!" Kate exclaimed pushing passed Sayid. She moved closer, putting her hand on his arm. "Where have you been, everyone's been looking. Is Michael with you?"

But before Jack could answer, she saw his left hand carrying the golf club. She blinked at him through the rain, "You weren't golfing, were you?" she said slowly, her teeth clenched.

She could see Jack hesitate, he was trying to figure out how to best answer the question without pissing her off. It didn't matter, she had her answer. Her joy upon first seeing him slowly began to melt away. It was replaced by a steadily growing rage.

"You son of a Bitch" she said shoving him in the chest.

"Kate," He started in that voice she had heard him use to sooth his patients on the Island.

She didn't let him finish. "You knew we were coming tonight, you knew it, you've been gone for hours, didn't you think to tell someone where you were. There are SEARCH PARTIES Jack. What were you thinking! You had me worried sick, so you could play a little round of golf!"

"Kate," he started again, but again she interrupted him.

"Michael. He's not with you. Where is he?" She couldn't imagine Michael wanting to play golf, not with Walt missing. She didn't even think she had even seen him crack a smile in the past two months.

This time, she let him talk "I don't know, Kate. How long has he been gone?"

Sayid answered "From what we can gather, he left with the hike this afternoon, but he never turned up at the caves."

"Has anyone checked the beach?" Jack asked, immediately steeping into his role as leader. It came so naturally to him now.

"Charlie and Scott went to check the beach" Hurley added.

"No, Charlie and Steve" Sayid corrected. "Scott is dead."

"Dude, get to know some more survivors. Steve is dead."

"Okay," Jack interrupted the exchange. "Regardless, the beach is covered. Where are we going to look?"

"We were just discussing that" Sayid said. Sayid looked as if he was going to continue, but he suddenly stopped mid sentence. "I know where he is." He said and began to walk purposefully and quickly.

The rest of them followed. Jack handed Vincent's leash back to Hurley and hurried to match Sayid's pace. "Where?" he asked.

"Where did Danielle go when she wanted her child back? The only place that we know the others have been." Sayid said as he hurried through the jungle heading to where the pillar of smoke had originated so many weeks ago.

Kate remembered the last time she had been to that particular spot. It was right before they had found Sawyer, right before she had learned that Jack had slept with Ana on the plane, right before she had slept with Sawyer. She wondered if the repercussions of this journey would be as life altering as the last one.

As they continued walking South, Jack fell back in step with Kate. "I'm sorry I wasn't there, I didn't mean to make you worry."

She shook her head and said "I just don't understand why you would be golfing, and alone, in the rain"

"It wasn't raining when I started." He said. "And I headed back when it started to get dark."

"But why were you there in the first place, answer the question Jack." She pleaded with him.

"I just thought that you'd want the space" he answered plainly. "I sprang a lot on you this afternoon, I didn't want to freak you out anymore than I already had."

"I looked for you Jack." She said, and then they sped off toward the other side of the Island.

Chapter 9

They tore through the jungle as quickly as they could, hoping against hope that Michael would be at that beach where the Others had been. Kate could barely admit it to herself, but part of her actually hopped that they weren't the search party who found Michael. She was afraid of the state that he might be in. But she kept these morbid thoughts to herself as they passed the small yellow plane where Boone had died.

They ran steadily for 45 minutes. Sun and Hurly were struggling to keep up, but Kate and Sayid managed to match the rapid pace that Jack had set.

"Jack!" Sayid called out "We must wait or the others."

"You wait" Jack hollered back at him, "I'll meet you guys there."

"Jack," Kate said as she slowed to a stop. She reached out for his arm and he stopped running. "We could all use a rest."

For a moment, it seemed as though he was going to fight her on this, but all he did was look at her and say nothing. Perhaps it was to appease her for the argument they had had earlier, but after a beat, he nodded slowly and pulled a water bottle out of his bag. He handed it to Sayid who took a long drink and passed it to Kate. In her hurry to find Jack and Michael, Kate had neglected to think beyond just going after them. She hadn't prepared for a journey at all. She knew better than that. Thankfully Jack was there to save them all, yet again.

Hurley and Sun reached them, panting. Hurley bent over, hands on his knees, and tried to catch his breath. Between heavy breaths, he said "Dude, I just want one day where I don't have to sprint through the jungle, just one day."

"Kate," Sun interjected after a gulp of water, "You're bleeding."

Jack was instantly up from the tree where he had been leaning. She glanced down at where Sun was looking at her arm. There were a couple gashes just below her bicep, probably from a tree branch. She hadn't even noticed it. Jack licked his thumb and smeared some of the blood away from the cuts. "Doesn't look to deep, we'll bandage that up when we get back."

"We better get going," Kate said pulling her arm away. She could still feel the burn his fingers had left. They hadn't touched since that night in the jungle.

After another hour of running, they finally reached the beach. As they emerged from the trees, they were all shocked to find a small group of people there. Kate saw Jack instinctively throw his arm back to protect her and the others behind him as though he were a parent breaking too hard.

Soon though, they saw that it was Ana, Locke and Jin. A little closer to the shore, Kate saw Michael and Sawyer.

Michael was yelling and his voice carried on the wind. "He's my kid, Man. I have to at least try." Michael was wet to the chest, and it had stopped raining awhile ago. The only explanation for his being so soaked must have been the ocean. In the dim moonlight, Kate could see the massive waves that were crashing on the shore. Had Michael been in that?

Sawyer was speaking low and she couldn't make out what he was saying to Michael. She saw Jack make a move to go over to them, but before she could stop him, Ana did. She walked over to them briskly and put her hand on his chest. "Not yet Jack, let them work it out."

Reluctantly, Jack backed away. "What happened, how long have you been here" he asked looking from Ana to Locke.

Jin hadn't come over with them. He stood half way between the two groups, looking as though he wanted desperately to do something, but had no idea what. Then he nodded silently to Sun and started to walk toward Sawyer and Michael. And there they stood, the survivors of the failed attempt at rescue.

Ana told them what they had found when they got there. Michael had been in the water, hollering for The Others to come out and deal with him. They had tried to get him to come out of the water, but no amount of talking could coax him. Finally Sawyer had gone in after him and physically drug him out. After that, Michael had been furious, swinging wildly at Sawyer. He had hit him in the face a couple of times, but Sawyer hadn't fought back, he had just stood there taking it. Michael had gotten tired after awhile, and they had been talking, but no one had been able to hear anything very clearly. "Then, you guys got here…"she finished.

As Kate looked back at them, it seemed as though a decision had been made. Sawyer, Michael and Jin headed toward them slowly. As Sawyer got closer, she gasped. He looked as though his face had been pushed through a meat grinder. His right eye was swollen shut and already beginning to turn blue, there was a cut on the bridge of his nose, and from the way it turned, it must have been broken. "I see you found Saint Jack" He said thickly. "I thought you guys were heading east."

Jack ignored him and headed for Michael. Before he could say anything, Michael beat him to it. "I'm fine, I'm ready to go to the caves now." He said it as if it were the end of a conversation and none of them pressed it.

They began to make ready to head out again. Sun and Jin embraced and he looked carefully at her face making sure she was unhurt. Locke gave Michael a blanket out of his backpack to wrap around his shoulders. And Jack sat Sawyer down on a large log a little bit away from everyone else.

"Were gonna have to set this." He said referring to his nose. "Better sooner than later."

Kate walked over to them and sat down next to Sawyer, taking his hand in hers. He tried to jerk it away, but she wouldn't let go. "Its gonna hurt Sawyer," she said, "Just squeeze hard."

Hurley called over from the group. "I can hold your hand if you'd rather."

"Just get it over with." Sawyer muttered. And Jack pressed hard into his nose. Kate looked away but felt the pressure of Sawyers hand squeezing hers. "Son of a bitch!" He said when Jack was done. Sawyer let go of Kate's hand and walked back toward the others, his fingers gently feeling his nose.

Kate looked up at Jack, he helped her up, and they followed after him.

Chapter 10

They began the journey back to the caves, hoping it would be much less frantic and occur without incident. It was late, everyone was exhausted and no one talked much. Kate was extremely anxious to find out what Sawyer had told Michael to get him to come back to the caves. She assumed that everyone else was just as curious. She tried to maneuver herself to the back of the group where Sawyer was so she could try and coax it out of him. Ana, it seemed, had the same idea.

"What did you say to him?" Ana asked him without preface. Why was she always beating her to the punch? It was starting to grate on her nerves. Kate noticed Jack, who was only a few paces ahead of them slow his gait in order to hear Sawyer's answer.

Sawyer, however, wasn't willing to indulge their curiosity. "Well, Chiquita," he said to Ana, but glanced around at the rest of them. "I'm not gonna tell you that, I'm pretty sure Mike's not gonna divulge, and good luck getting anything outta Tonto up there."

Ana just smiled and said "I had to try."

After an uneventful trek, they arrived at the caves just after 2 AM, according to Kate's watch. Just a few people were awake waiting for their return, but soon everyone was up. The warm reception that Jack and Michael received was overwhelming for both of them. It seemed since Boone's death, followed so shortly by Walt's abduction, people hadn't been expecting a happy ending with this latest crisis. Thankfully, it was so late that they were both able to beg off and everyone soon quietly slipped off to bed.

---------------------

It was late the next morning when Kate woke up. More than half of the cave's residents were still sleeping. Kate looked around to where Jack was bunking and was relieved to see him still sprawled on his back deep in sleep.

Kate leaned back against the cave wall and closed her eyes, she wasn't ready to get up and start her day yet. Her mind once again returned to the never ending quandary of the Jack and Sawyer situation. She wondered if Jack's steadily increasing draw had anything to do with the fact that she was with Sawyer now. The fact that he was off limits to her had to have something to do with that. Actually, she didn't even know if she was still with Sawyer at this point. In the recent days hadn't felt like it, but they hadn't discussed anything about it – they had barely spoken to each other.

They were like two opposite heads of a coin. Or like Yin and Yang. Got anymore clichés to describe them Kate? She thought to herself. But cliché or not, it was still true, Sawyer was obviously the dark and Jack the light. Ever since the letter, Kate had been able to see the good in Sawyer. It was like the little white spot in the dark half of the Yin and Yang. It was precisely that tortured soul surrounded by bad boy that attracted her to him.

But with Jack it was different. For along time, she had been able to discern no dark side to him at all. It troubled her because she knew he was too good for her. She could only do damage to someone like that, and the last thing she wanted was to hurt anybody – although it seemed to be what she was best at. Like Sawyer, Jack was also tortured, but it seemed to stem from a personal fear of failure rather than guilt and a troubled past.

But the knowledge that Jack had slept with a woman he barely knew aboard an airplane had changed this perception of Jack's absolute perfection a little. As much as she hated the idea of Jack with Ana, she had to admit that it had relieved her to know Jack was at least capable of being selfish and reckless. It made him a little less perfect and a little more accessible.

She opened her eyes and looked back at Jack. He was just waking up now and his eyes met hers. He stretched his arms over his head and smiled at her. She smiled back, noticing that he had slept in the same gray shirt and jeans he had been in last night. Despite her reaction to the news that he had been golfing when everyone on the island thought he was missing, she really couldn't stay angry at him. Especially not when she was staring at his exposed stomach where his shirt had pulled up mid stretch.

Jack got up and headed over to where Michael was just rousing as well. He gestured to Kate's arm, indicating that he would check on her gashes in just a little bit. Again she had forgotten about them, they didn't hurt at all, but she supposed they should be cleaned at the very least.

She looked around for Sawyer and saw him heading straight for the exit. He was walking quickly, his head down and longish hair flapping in his face. In order to leave the caves, he would have to pass directly in front of Kate. His determined look and speed told her that he would probably not be stopping for a chat.

"Sawyer" she called quietly, trying not to wake those who were still sleeping. But he just walked on without the slightest indication that he had heard her speak. She got up quickly and followed him outside. There was a confrontation coming and she might as well get it over with.


	2. Chapter 11 and epilogue

Chapter 11

As Kate exited the caves into the late morning sun, she saw that Sawyer was already well ahead of her. She sprinted after him, calling out his name. She had no idea what she was going to say to him, but she was pretty sure she knew how he would respond.

Sawyer turned and looked at Kate, his face hardened. "Well here it comes." He said, there was a familiar edge in his voice. She had heard it often enough, it was the one he used whenever they fought.

Kate took a deep breath and folded her arms across her chest. "Here what comes?" she asked as innocently as possible.

"Oh Sweetheart, lets not pretend we both don't know who you are." He was trying to hurt her, to put her on the defensive, and it was working.

"What are you talking about? I just want to talk to you Sawyer."

"Yeah, and I know just what you wanna talk about, this has been a long time coming." He paused, and after it became clear that Kate was still formulating what to say, he pressed her "Well?" He asked scathingly.

"Sawyer, I never wanted to hurt you." She said plaintively.

"Like hell you didn't." he spat out. He was getting angrier, his blue eyes flashing in the sun as he got closer to her. "You knew this was gonna happen." He accused, his face now only inches from hers.

She backed away, but he continued almost unaware of her presence. "Whats crazy is I let myself….I actually thought…" His face softened as his voice trailed away.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

He looked at her, his eyes becoming fierce again. He pursed his lips and closed the distance between them once again. "I was right." He said.

"You were right about what?" She asked. She was suddenly very tired.

"I was right when I told you there was nothing on this Island worth staying for." He said it bitterly, as though it was the first time he actually believed it.

She thought back to that night, how much she hated to see him go. How incapable they both were of giving the other a decent goodbye. He had seemed so vulnerable, but at the same time, he knew exactly what to say to cut her at her core.

She turned away from him, tears stinging at the corners of her eyes.

"Go find Jack." He said dismissively and she heard him start to walk away.

"That's not what this is abo--" she started to say.

"Don't lie to me." He cut her off, he sounded so hurt.

"Saywer, I never…what I mean is, it wasn't a lie with you. You know that right?" She still had her back turned to him.

He didn't answer her for a minute, and finally she turned around to look at him, his head was down and his hair was hanging in his face.

"This isn't over Kate, and you know it" Sawyer said looking up. "You'll never be satisfied, not with him and not with me. And you're just pathetic if you don't know that by now." And with that, he left her standing in the middle of the path.

She turned and headed into the jungle, fighting tears all the way. When she was sure she was a safe distance from the caves and no one would find her, she allowed her self to breakdown. Harsh sobs were followed by ragged breaths, and after a little while, she was calm again. She pressed her hands into her forehead and leaned back against a tall tree.

Sawyer's angry words flashed again and again through her head. She hoped he was wrong, but there was a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that every word he had said was true. It suddenly occurred to her that she had done very little talking throughout the entire confrontation. He had said everything that needed to be said. This thought brought fresh tears to her raw eyes and they hurt as the spilled onto her cheeks.

When she was reasonably sure that there were no tears left, she slowly made her way back to the caves. If she knew anything about Sawyer, and she thought she knew more than anybody else on the Island, she was certain he wouldn't be there.

When Kate got back, the caves were nearly empty of people. Everyone was up and going about there business. She noticed a few people by the water source, but that was about it. She sat down on her mat and crossed her legs and put her head in her hands. She was grateful for the privacy.

She had just closed her eyes when she heard Sun calling out "I found her Jack."

She glanced up and saw the two of them heading for her.

"I've been looking for you Kate." He said approaching her. "We need to clean and bandage those cuts. I know you think they're not a big deal, but an infection out here could be really bad news, so just humor me, k?"

He was close enough to really look at her now and he grew silent. "I think I can take it from here Sun." he said quickly.

"Alright" Sun said, seeing Kate's face. She gave Kate a sympathetic look and headed toward the opposite ends of the caves where Jin was busy cleaning fish.

Jack helped Kate up and led her silently over to the infirmary area of the cave. "Sit." He said and she did, happy to have something else to focus on. Jack made himself busy pulling various supplies out of the drink cart that now served as a large first aid kit.

As he sat next to her, he didn't say anything, just took her arm and placed it on his knee, holding her just below the elbow. He pulled out some cotton and a small travel sized bottle of rubbing alcohol. "This might sting a little" he said, his brown eyes searching her face. She nodded and he gently cleaned the scrapes.

He said nothing more, as though he instinctively knew that was what she needed. A tear slid slowly down her cheek and she wiped it away with her free hand before he saw anything. She didn't know how he did it, how he was able to make her instantly feel safe and taken care of. He must have taken some sort of class for bedside manner.

As he finished wrapping her arm in gauze he gave her a small smile and told her "I think you're gonna make it Kate."

She smiled at him and as she headed back to her mat she said "See you later Jack."

Epilogue

Weeks passed during which Kate kept mainly to herself. Save for Ana and Sun, she didn't think she had had an entire conversation with anyone on the Island since that day. The sting of Sawyers words, once so fresh and raw, had faded into a dull sort of sadness that now only appeared sporadically. Most often when she would steal a glance at his side of the cave or run into him on the path to the beach.

As the weeks had passed, Jack had kept his distance as well. She could tell that he was concerned by the long worried looks he would give her. She tried not to think of either of them as she found small but necessary tasks to fill her days.

One day when she was cleaning water bottles at the waterfall in the caves, Charlie headed over to her, cradling Aaron in his arms. "Take him for a minute?" he asked.

She looked at him reluctantly, trying to convey to him that it was the last thing she wanted to do. But he wasn't going to let her get out of it that easily. "It's a baby, Kate, not a bloody snake."

"Alright" she said and he gingerly placed Aaron in her outstretched arms. He gurgled happily and smiled at her. She smiled back before she realized that it was probably just gas.

"He knows you." Charlie said after seeing the exchange. "You guys are bonded"

Kate rolled her eyes as Charlie bent down to retrieve some water bottles from his shoulder bag. She bounced the baby on her hip and made funny faces at him to keep him entertained while Charlie filled each of the bottles. "Hes getting heavy!" Kate said, "How long has it been since he was born, it only seems like days."

"Three months, 4 days and about 14 hours, give or take" He said smiling proudly. She couldn't help but smile back. She passed Aaron back into his capable hands.

"You've been-" he paused trying to find the right word, " -quiet lately, you doin okay?"

"That obvious huh?"

"Actually, Claire pointed it out, she made me come over here and check on you – not that I didn't want to, I mean – what can I say, Im an unobservant putz."

She smiled at him again, "Its alright Charlie, I'd rather not talk about it anyway." She turned to walk away.

"Whatever he told you, it wasn't true." He said hurriedly to her back and she halted.

"What are you talking about?" She said trying to keep anger out of her voice, how did he know?

"Sawyer," he answered, "whatever he said to you, it wasn't true. What was it? Did he say you weren't good enough for Jack? You don't believe him do you? Cause you are."

"He didn't say that" she answered quietly.

"What then?" he asked.

"Nothing Charlie, it doesn't matter."

"Okay, don't tell me, but don't believe him either, he was probably just angry, you know him…" he trailed off.

"Okay" she nodded, then she smiled at him yet again. It was impossible not to be heartened by his eagerness "Unobservant Putz, huh?"

"Just returning a favor." He said pointing at Aaron. "Without you that night, who knows? See you later Kate" He said and headed back to Claire.

------------------------------------

A few days later, Kate woke up early and was surprised to find the sun shining. Most of the recent mornings had been bleak with rain that only cleared up late in the afternoon. This was in turn followed by more rain in the late evening. She decided to take advantage of the great weather and go on a small hike to gather fruit.

For over an hour, she found next to nothing. But just as she decided to give up and head back, she spotted a large tree with strange red fruit hanging from the branches. She couldn't recall seeing it anywhere else on the island, so she headed over and climbed up to investigate.

Pomegranates! They were pomegranates! She smiled thinking how of how thrilled everyone would be to have something different. She wasn't sure whether pomegranates were usually found on Pacific Islands, but she decided not to question it.

She filled her shoulder bag rather quickly. There was a ton of it, the lower branches were so heavy with fruit that they bent with the weight. As she descended, she glanced down at the ground and saw Jack staring up at her intently. His hands griped the straps of his backpack and he seemed not to even notice that she was looking back at him.

"So _that's_ what you checking me out looks like." She laughed.

He grinned and looked down at the ground but didn't say anything. As she got closer to the ground, he stretched his hand up to help her down. For a half second, she considered not taking it. But then she did and hopped onto the ground.

Assuming he would follow her, Kate turned to head back to the caves. She didn't get very far and she realized that Jack was still holding onto her arm.

"Jack?" she hesitated and turned to look at him. He pulled on her arm slightly and she turned into him. He looked down at her for a moment, then he leaned down and kissed her sweetly. As he pulled away, his eyes searched her face, trying to gauge how she had taken it.

In answer, she leaned up and kissed him back, and as the kiss grew in intensity, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her a few inches into the air so they were roughly the same height.

"Wait." She pulled back.

He put her down and stepped back, "I'm sorry, Kate."

"No, its just…" She lifted the bag of pomegranates over her shoulder and placed it on the ground. Then she slid his bag from his shoulders and he let it fall in a heap.

Keeping her eyes on his, she grabbed bits of the grey shirt he always seemed to be wearing and pulled him back a few feet into the shade of the tree. He bit his bottom lip, trying in vain to suppress a smile as he followed her. She leaned back into the trunk and he leaned gently into her, finding her mouth once again. Their kisses became feverish now and the ever increasing intensity created a rush in her head. She leaned her head back against the trunk and tried to catch her breath. He kissed down her neck, his tongue dancing in the hollow at the base of her throat.

She couldn't think, but she didn't care. She placed her hands on his face and drew him up to her again. His hands were in her hair, then on her waist. His thumbs tracing the skin just above her jeans.

Things were so heated now, that if one of them didn't put a stop to it, there would be no stopping at all. "Jack?" she whispered.

"mmm hmmm." He murmured into her hair as his hands traveled further under her shirt and up her back.

"nothing" she said and ran her hands up his arms, kissing him again.

"you wanna stop?"

"mmm hmmm" she said, finding the spot just below his ear.

He pushed himself back and away from her. "Yeah," he said wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "we should stop."

"Want to head back?" she asked, struggling for breath, her lips still burning.

"Not really" he said, "but I guess we should."

They stood silently staring at each other or a few moments, debating if heading back now was really the right move. Finally, Jack made a move for her bag of pmegranates. He picked it up placed it gently over her head. As she smiled up at him, he held her chin in his hand and gave her a quick kiss. "I love that your chin is crooked when you smile, I've been dying to tell you that."

"I always hated it" she said.

He held her hand all the way back to the caves. When they got close though, he dropped it and moved away from her subtly. She knew he was thinking of Sawyer and she was glad he did it.

"Im gonna go…" he pointed towards Sun dealing with the Island's latest minor medical crisis.

"Sure" she said "See you later?"

"Damn straight you'll see me later" he said and smiled.

The End


End file.
